Yes, this is your 500-word survival guide to living in the seemingly peaceful villages of Scotland.
Now it is not all about wearing the kilts and holding a can of special brew larger that will help you through the highs and lows of country living. If you are planning to walk the walk up in Scotland, then ye need to talk the talk.
What’s to follow is some familiar colloquialism to the Scottish countryside that you will need to brush up on before you are sussed out as being a dirty stinking foreigner as they endearingly phrase it, with no malice intended, of course.
Hen – Perhaps the most commonly know turn of phrase for the female. Though this is not to assume that every woman you call hen is because they look like a chicken, in fact, this is more like sweetheart or honey.
This leads to the next term Bonnie Lass, which is a hen but a particularly stunning one that would, as they say, get her hole, in Scotland.
If in social surroundings in one of the establishments that has not been closed down by one of the councils in Scotland, your men would be referred to as the Braw and the women as Tidy.
The Scottish language is so warm to the ear that even the worst profanity melts off the ear drum with joy. The Scottish people are wonderfully creative when it comes to offensive and abusive language and without being able to verbally fight your own corner, you will stick out like a sore thumb.
So, to start off light we begin with the words Div and/or Dafty. These refer to someone being foolish. The next level up from being a fool would be to call someone a Numpty or a Nugget. This is the fool x2.
The term a Jobby, refers to someone that this is, in fact, a poo!
If you wanted to put these terms together, you could say “The Dive went to the bookies the other day to put money on the horse racing and the numpty came back with nothing cause he is a right jobby when it comes betting on the nags and he’s just as bad at the casinos playing blackjack the dafty.”
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There are further slang insults you could use.
Lavvy Heid – Toilet Head
Roaster – idiot
Nyaff – irritating person
Auld – Old
Aye – Yes
Boke – Gag or Vomit
Blether – Chatter-box
Canny – Careful, or sometimes Clever
Chitter – Shiver
Clipe – To ‘tell on’ someone, or ‘snitch’
Crabbit – Bad-tempered or Grumpy
Dinnae – Don’t
Drookit – Soaking Wet
Dae – (pronounced ‘day’) Do
Eejit – Idiot
Tattie – Potato
Greet – Cry
Ken – Know
Haver – Talk Nonsense (Proclaimers fans will have heard this one before!)
Noo – Now
Peely-walley – Pale or Wan
Och! – Oh!
Skelp – Slap
Piece – A Sandwich